October 2023
This week for the first time, I saw a beautiful girl and started to imagine her as my girlfriend. the girl was so beautiful, so close and so accessible. It all happened in the Royal food court. her smile was so inspiring and could make me think about her all the time.
when she was leaving her table, I reached her and said “How are you doing? Sorry to bother you, I’m interested in you. If possible, I want to have your number” She said: “I have a boyfriend for now”
I Should have told her you could have my number in case you missed your current boyfriend.
When I returned from my mission in Qom, the online taxi driver was defrauded by two young men. he was so upset about two hours of driving down there and the 150 km roadway. It reminded me something about my boss. Mr. Kh. was talking about my big boss (Haji) and how he makes people believe they are winners in the deal they are making with him when he is the winner. If you want to fraud, it should be undercover and the person should not discover your fraud. they should be happy at the end. this is the secret of a good fraud.
I have decided to study for the Entry Exam of the MBA course for SUT (Sharif University of Tehran). This decision needs lots of effort. I have to study Math1,2, GMAT, And English for this Exam in 4 Months during my job involvement. Along with family visits and friend’s Expectations.
Every day, This wish is going to fade because of the low amount of effort. I hope this game ends well or else everything will postponed for another year when I am 29 and my graduation will be 32. That’s not efficient but still tolerable based on shitty background and lack of support in my life.
August 2023
After a lot of times, I’m back with another diary. Today is 4th Aug and almost 6-month past from my biggest change in workspace.
I’ve been busy with some childish fights with my subordinates apparently because of lack in Emotional Intelligences. I had talked with my direct manager (CTO), HR Magner and Therapist about it and during these months I’m improving in my skills. I had lots of mistakes in this process and paid a lot for this event but it worth it and I’m learning to be a manager someday. building my characteristics for brighter future. I have learned:
- not to enter any argument with my subordinates and just decide for them.
- I should not Humiliate and destruct their personality by my words and action while showing them how their mistakes made me sad and they have to pay penalty for that.
- I should be careful not to mix everything together and not bring past to present.
- How I should be serious and poker face to not deliver or receive any emotion to/by them. (your emotions are not important fo me. I don’t care and I Ignore them. I’m not listening your emotions. now tell me what about that project?) (I’m talking poker face and nuteral with you. just work related. not smile not wrath, not…)
- How manage wich my Emotions right here, right now, how deliver my emotions to others to get more benefit from it and not anyone gets hurts. Its different with Emotional inhibition.
- My response to Excuse is emphatic sentences and ignore their excuses after a while. (This is your task and should be done until blah. you should do it. it’s your job.)
furthermore, Lastly I started Existentialism psychotherapy to find a way to let go my Four Existential Concerns and sources of Anxiety. They are death, freedom, isolation, and meaninglessness. I’m working on it for now and it’s a good omen.
beside to these topics, I have signed up for lots of courses in FARADARS for my next months. apparently I can learn a lot of topics by them through my future days. Good luck me 🙂 Instrumentation, LABVIEW, Arduino, Signal processing, AVR, PIC, ARM, power electricity, IOT, Python, CNC, Solidworks molding, Material choosing in industry, Rasberry pi, CMD, Writing, Networks.
At last, I’m working in this company with low payment and long hours to achieve something listed below. I should be careful by distraction and childplay.
- Growth in Emotional Intelligence
- Growth Management skills
- Growth by being around people like my CTO manger and my mentors.
- Discipline
- Stability
- Seriousness
- Avoid Distractions (Arguments and Neggings)
Don’t return empty-handed from your dream
5 Jan 2023
Today I’m feeling better. The last two days were something memorable forever. My boss got fired like a nasty dog because of moral issues. All because of my report to HR.
[ 03/06/2023 ] Today lasted like two months and we have a new manager. I feel really better in my life and have more control over my actions. I hope my pills decrease for the new year. Also, new hopes for my new skills in my current job like Endoscopy Telescope and instruments are high.